The Mirror and the Mask: Kaitie Entrikin on Rediscovering the Woman Beneath the Wounds

In this powerful and soul-stirring episode of The Healing Lounge, Marcia Williams, LPC, sits down with life coach, podcaster, and survivor Kaitie Entrikin — founder of Beautiful Beasts Within Studios — for a raw, honest, and often surprisingly joyful conversation about life after narcissistic abuse.

Kaitie’s story is one of deep pain transformed into radiant purpose. She opens up about her early years in a relationship that began when she was just sixteen, the subtle red flags she didn’t recognize at the time, and the heartbreaking — yet awakening — moment when a simple argument over a Hot Pocket became the catalyst for her freedom.

But this isn’t just a story about leaving. It’s a story about becoming. Kaitie reveals how she used laughter, empathy, and self-reflection as tools for survival — and later, for healing. Together, she and Marcia unpack the complexities of recovery: the messy middle, the self-blame, the false starts, and the quiet courage it takes to keep choosing yourself, one day at a time.

They explore what it truly means to heal from narcissistic abuse — not by erasing the past, but by learning to embrace it with compassion. Kaitie shares how she moved from seeing herself as broken to recognizing her own beauty, power, and resilience. Today, she helps others do the same through her coaching work, guiding people to heal their relationship with food, their bodies, and most importantly, themselves.

Throughout this heartfelt exchange, you’ll hear wisdom, laughter, and those deeply resonant moments that make you stop and breathe. Marcia and Kaitie discuss the importance of revisiting your younger self with love, the role of therapy and self-awareness in long-term healing, and how our past pain often becomes the soil from which purpose grows.

If you’ve ever wondered why you stayed, why it still hurts, or when you’ll finally feel like yourself again — this conversation will meet you where you are and remind you that healing isn’t about “getting over it.” It’s about walking through it, learning to hold space for your emotions, and rediscovering the powerful, worthy, and courageous version of you that has been there all along.

You’ll laugh. You might cry. But most importantly, you’ll leave knowing this: your healing isn’t linear, but it is yours.

Listen to this episode to learn:

• Why laughter can be a bridge from pain to healing
• How to recognize early red flags you might have ignored
• The truth about self-blame and why survivors stay
• How to reconnect with your inner child and reclaim your voice
• The power of seeing your “beautiful beast within” as your greatest strength

Journal Prompt of the Week:
“What part of my true self have I been hiding to keep the peace — and what would it look like to let her speak again?”

Connect with Kaitie Entrikin:

• Be

Transcript

Unveiling the Beautiful Beast Within — Healing Through Laughter, Self-Compassion, and Courage 

Marcia Williams: 

 I am so honored to welcome a very special guest to The Healing Lounge. 

Kaitie Entrikin is the founder of Beautiful Beasts Within Studios, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and now a powerful life coach helping others rise from the ashes of their pain. 

Hi Kaitie, welcome! 

Kaitie Entrikin: 

 Hi, thanks for having me on. 

Marcia: 

 I’m so thankful and proud to say that I was a guest on Kaitie’s podcast, Unveiling the Beast. She creates space for empowering people to share their stories, so I’m excited to return the favor and have her here today. 

Kaitie: 

 Thank you! I’m thrilled to be here. 

Who Kaitie Is Today 

Marcia: 

 For those meeting you for the first time, can you share who you are today and what you do through Beautiful Beasts Within Studios? 

Kaitie: 

 I’m a big goofball who loves to laugh and make others laugh. What’s beautiful is that I used to use humor to cover up my pain—now I use it to heal. 

I’m a coach who helps people heal their relationship with food, exercise, their bodies, and ultimately themselves. Many of us feel like we’re too much or not enough—sometimes both. My work helps people break that cycle and reconnect with who they truly are. 

Healing Is Not Linear 

Marcia: 

 Healing from narcissistic abuse is messy and nonlinear. How would you describe where you are in your healing journey today? 

Kaitie: 

 I don’t think we ever become “fully healed.” Life keeps happening. Old thought patterns can resurface—but now I have tools to handle them. 

Just the other day, I was telling my story and got emotional. After years of therapy, I thought, “Why am I crying?” But it reminded me: healing doesn’t erase what happened—it helps us navigate it differently. 

Marcia: 

 Exactly. It’s not about getting over it—it’s about going through it. Healing gives us tools, compassion, and the ability to comfort our younger selves. 

Kaitie: 

 Yes! Now when I look back, I want to hug that younger version of me. Everything she endured shaped who I am today. 

Early Red Flags 

Marcia: 

 When you look back, what were some of the earliest red flags that you didn’t recognize as abuse? 

Kaitie: 

 We were teenagers when we met. I remember him telling me a story about chasing someone on the freeway who flicked a cigarette at his car—very violent and graphic. 

I felt nauseous, but the people-pleaser in me tried to comfort him. He twisted it and accused me of making him feel stupid. Later that night, I cried for hours—not because of how he treated me, but because I felt bad for him. 

Marcia: 

 That’s powerful. You weren’t crying about how you were treated—you were crying because you couldn’t fix it. That’s such an empathic response, and it shows how early conditioning plays into abuse. 

The Hot Pocket Moment 

Marcia: 

 Was there a moment you realized something was deeply wrong? 

Kaitie: 

 Yes—the “Hot Pocket” incident. I call it Hot Pocket Whore. 

He fell asleep after smoking, so I walked to the store and bought him a Hot Pocket. Hours later, I got hungry and ate it. When he woke up and found out, he exploded—calling me names and degrading me. 

That was the first time I thought, I don’t want to be married to someone who talks to me like this. I took my ring off and walked out sobbing. 

Marcia: 

 It’s amazing how something small can open your eyes. Rock bottom moments often come when we’re finally ready to see clearly. 

Self-Blame and the Messiness of Healing 

Marcia: 

 Many survivors ask, “Why did I stay?” Did you ever blame yourself—and how did you work through that? 

Kaitie: 

 Absolutely. I was raised to please, and I got pulled into my husband’s family’s version of Christianity. Divorce was seen as failure. 

He also threatened suicide if I left. Between that and faith guilt, I felt trapped. But eventually I sought therapy—lots of it—and that was my lifeline. Therapy doesn’t mean you’re broken. It just gives you a safe space to untangle your truth. 

Losing and Reclaiming Identity 

Marcia: 

 How did narcissistic abuse affect your sense of self? 

Kaitie: 

 It completely erased it. I didn’t know who I was anymore. But even when I felt lost, my true self—the “beautiful beast within”—was still there, buried under years of programming. 

That’s what Beautiful Beasts Within is all about: unveiling the authentic self that’s always been there. 

Marcia: 

 I love that. It’s not that we lose ourselves—we just forget how to access who we are. 

Finding the Courage to Leave 

Marcia: 

 What finally gave you the courage or clarity to end the marriage? 

Kaitie: 

 He was using our rent money for drugs. Eventually we were evicted, and I moved back with my mom. That forced separation was my way out. 

When he left for the weekend, I told him we needed to separate so he could get help. He never did—and that became my final straw. My friends rallied around me; they celebrated my freedom. 

Rebuilding and Becoming 

Marcia: 

 How did this experience shape the way you show up now as a coach? 

Kaitie: 

 It taught me what unhealthy love looks like. Before that, I was fighting my body—dieting, hustling for worthiness, believing I had to shrink to be loved. 

After my divorce, I went through what I called “the divorce diet.” It took years to realize I was still at war with myself. My healing journey taught me that real transformation isn’t about shrinking—it’s about becoming. 

Now I help people heal their relationship with food and movement from love, not punishment. 

Creating Beautiful Beasts Within Studios 

Marcia: 

 Tell us more about Beautiful Beasts Within Studios and what you want people to experience. 

Kaitie: 

 I started the brand in 2014, but it’s evolved into something deeper. My mission is to help people start their health journey from love instead of hate. 

Whether it’s food, exercise, or self-image—it’s about moving your body because it feels good, not because you’re punishing yourself. Healing begins when we stop counting calories and start counting moments of peace. 

Closing Reflections 

Marcia: 

 Kaitie, I’ve laughed harder with you than I have in ages, even when we talk about painful things. You remind us that laughter is part of healing. 

Kaitie: 

 Thank you. While I help others heal, I also do it for her—little Kaitie. 

Marcia: 

 And she’s lucky to have you. You honor her every day by showing others how to unveil their own beautiful beast within.